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(discussing the founding fathers and why George Washington was the first president under the constitution as opposed to Jefferson, Adams, or anyone else for that matter)
Me: We owe our victory over the british to two people more than any politicians: General Washington, and General Lafayette, and the public knew it.
Nathan: Don’t forget Mel Gibson. That guy has l33t tomahawk skillz.

My brothers rock.

What do they have in common? Almost nothing.

Ok. Went to Maine to go whitewater rafting with my cousins and a church group they’re with. It was incredibly cool. We’re talking so cool you can’t contain how cool it is. Also, there were two girls in the group that were extremely attractive. To the point where, once they were safely out of earshot, I uttered an ironic statement: “Holy Jesus.” The one in our boat was my age, going to school at Embry-Riddle. Also in Air Force ROTC.

Anyway, that is not the point of this entry. The point of this entry is a very sinister device I found within the walls of my collective cousins’ house. It looked like a toilet, sort of, except with three knobs instead of just a flusher. But the toilet was right across from it. Therefore it could be no toilet. I decided to touch the device, but from a safe distance, and when it turned on and started jetting water right where a sitting person’s arse would be, I concluded it must be the work of none other than: The French.

This got me thinking about enemas. Now, you’d think a normal person wouldn’t want several gallons of water entering their body from the wrong end, but the french did and do, and it’s becoming popular elsewhere as well. I had a thought: it must have been started by some eccentric person with servants or something, some kind of noble or king. He (or perhaps she) wanted to try this, and got caught. In order to explain himself, he said, “It’s good for you… clears things up…” very weakly, but the servant, wife, or husband did not catch his or her frail excuses, and believed the noble person, attributing the strange behavior to wealth.

Then word got out, and the public believed all wealthy people drank water in reverse. And then all wealthy people did, for that was the style at the time. And then the middle class, for though it still seemed completely retarded to them, they wanted to appear wealthy.

What’s worse, they probably enjoyed it. Wierdos.

On our way home, Josh decided to commit suicide.

Don’t do it, Josh! You have so much to live for!

Ah who am I kidding, really.

One other point to make, I found this painting in my cousins’ bathroom as well:

It is not the first time I’ve seen this. I’ve gotten into the habit of calling it “Shannon’s Second Victim.” Although in light of recent reports perhaps it should be truly, “Ashley’s second victim.” But we all make mistakes, don’t we? Just most of them don’t involve socks.

In conclusion,

I just suddenly decided to write this incredibly short scene because it occured to me in the shower. Yes, i’m a dork. Yes, I still like Star Wars. So here’s the young Leia with her ‘father’, Bail Organa.

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Leia scoffed. “I’m not afraid of Vader.” Her father looked at her oddly for a moment, as if regarding these words, judging whether or not they were true.

“You should be.” He reached out and put a hand in her hair, gently drawing it out of her eyes as his other hand took the practice blaster from hers. The strange look never left his eyes. “He can jump over a correlian freighter. He can kill a man without even touching him. If by an incredible misfortune he looks at you, you can almost see eyes behind that mask–inhuman eyes. His are eyes that have no compassion, no mercy. Only hate.” Then, all at once, the expression left him. “Go to your mother, Leia.”

She shrank away from him, and then ran.

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